For a long time, we have misunderstood life as a “process of eliminating pain.” We believed that a completed life meant erasing all suffering and filling the remaining space with happiness. However, in the equation of life, pain is not a removable variable; it is closer to a “constant” that supports the entire expression. Pain is not something to be erased, but a background of life that we must eventually keep by our side and soothe, reducing its size or changing its form.
Pain is a Realm of Management, Not an Object of Elimination
The will to completely eliminate pain from life is like the resolve to remove waves from the ocean. The more we try to get rid of the waves, the more we find ourselves fighting the sea; however, once we acknowledge that the waves belong there, we can finally begin to contemplate “navigation.”
The true art of living lies not in creating a state devoid of pain, but in “Management”—deciding how to handle and distribute the pain that arises. Developing the strength to bear the weight of suffering and learning how to hold one’s breath when an unexpected wave hits: this is the reality of the act we call “living.”
The Occasional Gift Called Happiness
Happiness is not a constant. It is a “variable” that arrives very occasionally and without notice. The greatest illusion we held about life was the belief that happiness must be sustained. Yet, according to the law of diminishing marginal utility, happiness quickly converges back to the default value.
Thus, happiness is not a “state,” but a “moment.” Like a clear sky encountered by chance while walking, or a cold glass of water at the end of a painful day, happiness is a fleeting melody interspersed between the long background music of pain. Our lives have not failed simply because happiness is not present every moment. Rather, it is that rarity that truly makes happiness “happy.”
Approving the Coexistence of Pain and Happiness
While pain should not be too severe, the desire for it to be non-existent only makes us more vulnerable. When we accept that pain is fundamentally there, we can finally react keenly to even the smallest joys. The darker the background of pain, the brighter the occasional light of happiness shines.
Life is a process of repairing (managing) a house so that it does not collapse amidst the wind and rain of pain, and a series of brief rests where we are grateful for the sunlight (happiness) that occasionally peeks through the window cracks.
Life as a Manager
We are closer to being “managers” of our lives than their owners. A manager who oversees the total amount of pain given to them, treasures and records the elements of happiness that occasionally visit, and silently endures the daily life of the zero-state.
A manager who has abandoned the illusion of perfect positivity and approved the existence of pain no longer runs miserably in pursuit of happiness. Instead, they can look at a small flower blooming in their garden and softly murmur: “The pain was still there today, but thanks to this flower, I was happy for a moment.” That composed confession is likely the highest level of life attitude we can achieve.
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