"Raise your value and demand with confidence."
It sounds remarkably sophisticated, like a textbook perfect answer. Yet, this boilerplate advice often inflicts a different kind of dispossession on many ordinary people. In reality, most of us live without even knowing whether what lies in the palm of our hand is a sparkling jewel or just a dime-a-dozen pebble.
Faced with the massive evaluation metrics established by society—such as academic credentials, salary, and job titles—the tiny talents and flashes of wisdom within us look infinitely trivial. As a result, we easily get swept away at the system’s breakneck speed, completely unable to distinguish whether we are engaging in an equal transaction with the world, or begging while selling off our souls at a bargain price.
When we do not know our own value, how can we escape the swamp of begging and walk toward the path of justified demanding?
Value Is Not an "Already Completed Right Answer"
The biggest reason we fail to perceive our own worth is that we constantly view value as a "completed medal of recognition handed out by others."
When Machiavelli was writing The Prince, his knowledge had already been judged a thorough failure by the mainstream society of Florence. His policies had failed, the government he served had collapsed, and the Medici family viewed him as a traitor. On an objective profit-and-loss statement, what he held in his hand was an worthless "wrong answer."
Yet, Machiavelli quietly refined that wrong answer, molding it into a "highly original right answer" of his own. Value is never handed to us sparkling from the very beginning. Value is "invented" only when we quietly dig into our own experiences, our unique perspectives, and the minor discomforts we feel differently from others—things the world labels as "useless"—and solidify them into our own distinct color. If you haven’t realized the value in your palm yet, it is not because it is non-existent, but simply because you haven’t articulated it into your own sentences yet.
How to Check for an Equal Transaction: The "Lingering Unease" Inside
If you absolutely cannot tell whether you are engaging in an equal transaction with the world, you must close your ears to external standards and listen to the most primitive sensation inside you: a lingering sense of unease and disillusionment.
If you are working and receiving compensation within a certain organization or relationship, yet your self-esteem is strangely being chipped away and you feel worthless, that is not an equal transaction. It is a danger signal that the scales of power have completely collapsed, and you have entered a "state of begging," slowly letting the sovereignty of your soul be eaten away just to survive.
On the flip side, even if your body is exhausted and your position is low, if you retain a shred of efficacy and dignity that says, "I am undeniably necessary to these people," you are standing on the track of an equal transaction, however small it may be. When you feel your own scales are broken, the most honest gauge is not the evaluation of others, but the sheer magnitude of the sadness within you.
Concluding the Essay
The world constantly whispers to us: "What you hold in your hand is worthless, so stop complaining, lower yourself, and beg for mercy according to the price tag we set." Deceived by this manipulative whisper, countless people relegate themselves to the position of a beggar.
It is perfectly fine if you haven’t realized your value just yet. The very anxiety and confusion that makes you wonder, "Am I living like a fool right now?" is actually a powerful survival signal from your soul, roaring that it wants to unearth the value in your palm.
However, do not let your soul agree with the price tag the world slaps on you just because you don’t know your own worth. Just as Machiavelli remembered his own dignity every night in a rural corner by putting on his courtly robes, we need a sense of time dedicated to quietly gazing at and polishing the rough experiences inside us that still look like pebbles.
Before the world recognizes you, trust the warmth inside your own palm first. Thus, a remarkably modest conviction—one that accepts that even if what you hold is a ball of dust, "this, too, is my history"—will eventually become the starting point of a great "demand" that proposes a justified transaction to the world.
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