When Night Falls, We Yearn for Anesthesia
To a human being who has spent the day exhausted, living as a thorough cog in the system, the night is not as tender as one might think. This is because, paradoxically, awakening the child within and unleashing boundless imagination and extensibility when given time completely to oneself requires a tremendous amount of "mental stamina."
Yet, for those who have barely survived their evening commute, dangling from a bus handstrap, remaining stamina is a myth. On nights when the soul’s bank account is entirely depleted, what countless adults choose is not creation, but "anesthesia."
They hide within the stimulating videos of Netflix, chase vicarious satisfaction by clearing programmed quests in video games, or forcefully shut down the brain’s alertness with a glass of cold alcohol. If not that, they simply escape into a death-like, prolonged sleep. On the surface, this looks like laziness—voluntarily throwing away the chance to become a child of the night. In reality, however, it is an excruciatingly sad survival instinct: rushing the brain into power-saving mode just to function as a working part again the next morning.
Fake Extensibility Under the Name of Escapism
The streaming platforms, video games, and alcohol we consume every night actually offer a form of "fake extensibility." While the real "me" is stiffening inside a cramped, single-room studio, the screen within a screen or the avatar in a game flies across a vast universe, providing boundless vicarious satisfaction. It is, in essence, the cheapest and most efficient way to inject the brain with the dopamine of an illusion—the illusion that it is "expanding"—without expending any of one’s own energy.
The problem is that the more we become addicted to this fake extensibility, the more the true child within us slowly suffocates. The moment we mortgage our entire night to a meticulously crafted worldview (content) created by someone else, our primitive, genuine power to ask questions and imagine on our own degenerates.
If society standardizes our bodies by day, mega-capital and platforms imprison our very minds within standardized entertainment by night. Ultimately, this is the moment the loop of perfect control is finalized, ensuring that neither day nor night ever escapes the clutches of the system.
The Beginning of a Very Small Rebellion
Even so, we cannot unconditionally condemn these anesthetized nights. We all live through the firsthand experience of knowing that a sanctuary is sometimes necessary to weather the exhausting weight of life. What we must guard against, however, is the inertia where resignation hardens into a daily routine.
There is no need to grandiosely produce great art or dream of monumental innovation. Simply turning off the screen just once a week, for a mere thirty minutes, and letting your mind wander while staring blankly at the ceiling is enough. Scribbling a single line of a doodle that your heart truly desires, without leaning on the buzz of alcohol.
That trivial, unproductive act is a human being’s magnificent "first rebellion"—tearing through the web of fake extensibility spun by capital and the system. Not everyone can become a butterfly, and not everyone can stay awake every single night. Yet, every once in a while, let us push aside the anesthetic and look the child within us in the eye. For that clumsy, childish gaze might just be the only signal proving that we are alive as humans, not machines.
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