Who Standardized the "Upward Curve"?
We unconsciously superimpose a graph with an upward curve onto the word "development." We cherish a belief that as we age, our brain cells become denser, our reasoning solidifies, and our morality elevates, ultimately turning us into a more "complete human being." The grandiose, stepped theories of developmental psychology also stand firmly upon this arrogant, linear trajectory—the premise that a child is positioned below, and an adult stands somewhere above them.
Yet, here we must fling a question that strikes at the ultimate Achilles’ heel of development: Why do we believe that development must strictly move in an upward curve? Is an adult truly a superior, more developed being than a child in every aspect?
To put it bluntly, no. In some ways, an adult might be the byproduct of a "downward curve"—a state far more regressed and deficient than that of a child. For while we were busy trying to "level up" in the name of maturity, we were systematically losing the most brilliant capacities we once possessed as human beings.
The Process of Pruning Away a Universe of Possibility
Babies are born as "clumps of pure possibility," capable of holding the entire universe. According to neuroscientists, a baby’s brain possesses far more neural connections (synapses) than an adult’s. It is an infinite, fluid state that can bend into anything—be it language, art, or imagination.
However, as a human passes through what scholars call the "normal stages of development," the brain ruthlessly hacks away at unused connections under the guise of efficiency. This is called "pruning." By repeatedly trapping thoughts within the framework of answers and rules demanded by society, the massive, infinite universe once held by a child shrinks into the narrow alleyways of an adult.
Consider that wondrous creativity and intuition—the kind that creates a universe out of a single scribble, or strikes up a tender conversation with a stray pebble rolling on the street. Who would dare claim that an adult, who operates solely within premeditated efficiency and calculation, is a more "developed" being than that child of boundless imagination? The process of becoming an adult is, perhaps, a history of loss—one that forfeits a vast world, leaving behind nothing but a skeletal system of correct answers.
The Regression of Unbiased Acceptance
When it comes to morality and the capacity to form relationships, the adult’s downward curve becomes even more tragic. When babies look at the person in front of them, they do not bring a single yardstick to bear. It does not matter what color their skin is, how much money is in their bank account, or what university they graduated from. They simply accept the presence before them transparently, exactly as they are, without an ounce of prejudice.
Yet, while turning into "mature members of society," we constantly internalize the world’s prejudices, hatreds, and class divisions. We shrewdly calculate who to ostracize for our own gain, and behind whom to line up for our own safety. The capacity to fully trust and love another, the pure moral instinct to stand in unconditional solidarity—these are highly prone to contamination and degeneration as we age. An eighty-year-old adult who relies on a calculator to form relationships is, without a doubt, a "deficient being" compared to a three-year-old child making lock-eyed contact without a shred of pretense.
Development is a Seesaw Game of Give and Take
In the end, modern psychology also belatedly repented of this arrogance and bowed its head. Only upon reaching life-span developmental psychology—which encompasses the entire human life cycle—did scholars finally admit the truth: development is not an unconditional process of gaining (an upward curve), but a sequence of losses where gaining something (Gain) inevitably means forfeiting something else (Loss).
By becoming adults, we may have gained logic, reason, and social survival skills, but we have lost the sense of wonder toward the world and the unbiased tenderness that a child possesses. Therefore, the relationship between a child and an adult should not be a flight of stairs with an above and a below; it ought to be a horizontal seesaw game, with each holding onto different values.
Only when we discard the illusion that adults are superior to children can a genuine understanding of humanity begin. We are imperfect beings who must teach children reason, but who must simultaneously learn from them the purity and imagination we have lost. Humbly acknowledging our own deficiencies hidden behind the crown of adulthood—that is the very first step toward facing the magnificent existence of a child without arrogance.
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