Why does “being good at housework” get criticized?
These days, when someone says, “He’s good at housework,” there’s almost always someone who immediately pushes back, calling it a “patriarchal expression.” I don’t agree. Housework isn’t something you do because you’re told to; it’s an everyday skill you naturally learn out of respect for the people you live with.
Consideration is not a habit, but a sensibility
I’m a man, but at the table I always serve the elders first, fill others’ bowls before my own, and take my food last. That wasn’t a habit so much as a way of caring for the people I was with. I learned long ago that when others are comfortable, I am too.
“Attentiveness” is not an outdated virtue
Yet in the drama, Geum-myeong feels awkward even serving a bowl of sungnyung to elders at a formal family meeting. That in itself isn’t wrong. The problem is that she seems to regard such acts as trivial—as if consideration and attentiveness were outdated virtues. To me, that attitude felt immature.
Housework is about reading the rhythm of life
Knowing housework means knowing the rhythm of daily life: who’s hungry, who’s about to stand up first, how the atmosphere at the table is shifting. That requires emotional sensitivity and practical awareness to work at the same time. It’s not simply about being good at cleaning or doing the dishes. It’s a form of everyday intelligence that combines empathy, etiquette, and responsibility toward others.
Not oppression, but the aesthetics of relationships
Serving food to elders, clearing the table, noticing someone’s discomfort before it’s spoken—these are not acts of oppression. They’re the aesthetics of relationships. Those who haven’t learned them aren’t victims of their era; they simply haven’t yet learned the skills of living together.
The skills of living together
That’s why I still believe this: whether you marry or live together or not, regardless of gender—housework is a language that reveals human maturity. Those who dismiss it as trivial are, in the end, people who don’t know how to read others.
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